You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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