of course. lets lasso hookers.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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