can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
