I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
