I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
