Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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