thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
