i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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