sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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