Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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