He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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