grandma shit on top of the toilet
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
