Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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