I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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