whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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