I think I just saw someone hide a body.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
