So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Randomize