its not stalking. its research.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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