I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
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