Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
