At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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