tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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