I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
