Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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