I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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