Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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