Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
