would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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