Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
