who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
