hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
