"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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