Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
