I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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