"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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