um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
