he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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