I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
