Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
