he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
