STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
