oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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