Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
