We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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