I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
