I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
