Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
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