I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
