You just made me feel so damn special
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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