I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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