I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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