Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
