Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
