My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
