We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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