I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
