1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
