I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
