he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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