what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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