I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
