I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
