we're blogging at a bar
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
