i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
