Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
