Its about making memories worth repressing
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
