It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
