Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
