Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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