Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize