Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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