I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
