No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
