with your own penis?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
